Day 54

Iam expected to stay in the hospital to take care of Mummy....

Isn't it strange that iam not even given time to come out of my situation...

 

Day 53

Mom visited to see me yesterday....
was feeling little restless as we were feeling too much choked by people around us.

Was also feeling, why is Mom coming when we just met a day before..but I know she didn't wanted to leave that chance to see us again.

She fell down near bathroom...i was busy making tea in the kitchen and she slipped and fell off the door mat.
she then after applying spray and hot patch started moving a little then we thought it was a muscle catch....but after doctor check up, it was a fracture...i still don't understand how?

Now I know...this will be an issue that she fell here , not more for me but she would be accused of it.

Parallely people are slightly away from us...as they are busy with mom...
kind of good for is.
we get some breathing time...

she also would get some rest...though associated with some initial pain...but yes. She too needs rest.

I somehow feel its all you, who did it...

iam I true???

Love you anyway...

Day 51

Today I went to a Therapist...
It being a first visit, I don't know of that had helped me...but yeah I could vent out- which were were answering many of my own questions.

Doing this exercise I was realizing that you always kept me ready to be able to manage everything independently...

Iam wrong completely when I said you don't teach me how to live without you, you did!
Everyday and in everything I do...
A Big Thank you for preparing me...
Was feeling bit worried when I started looking at Aaryan... He cant 'ever' spend his time with his favourite Dad!
Must be very tough for him...but he is accepted it...and i see the way he searches that with me...

I decided I will ensure to give him that time, without fail.
Irrespective of mu illness or weakness....
After all its not easy to be the " The Best Dad" you were😘

Day 50

Its 50th Day today...

Unbelievable, how is this even possible Srikant???

I still am not able to digest it yet...

Today was Rakhi...was very difficult for your sisters to accept your absence.

I was also thinking about your hand without Rakhi today...which never happened.
Then, Shobhaji told me she tied one to god today and it relived me that Rakhi reached you my love!!!

But I was missing you all the time...sitting besides you and getting the rakhi tied on my hand....
those days will never come back...ever!!


 

Day 47

Yesterday I went to pick your personal items from office....i felt so miserable as I have never expected to collect your items from office.

After I reached home...me and sonny sat down to open it, we see your small world infolded.
Which is so beautiful with acknowledgment cards, Thank you cards, appreciation notes and a lot of team scribbles to you, as a best Boss and a Leader...

This comforts me that you had always lived your life to the fullest and the way you want...so much so that God was fond of you and took you away 😭

 

Day 45

I feel very low today...
Things that seems to be doable looks very difficult now.
But iam sure you will give me that strength to move on...to be able to gather my confidence back to move on...
its you and only you who can do this for me...

I raise my arms to ask you for the strength to pass tho life without any difficulty...

 

Day 41

I started talking to, reading about few inspirational and brave single moms I knew of. Will help me survive, though every story is different and so is the cause...but the result has been more so ever the same....

I look our love story to be incomparable to anyone else's...
Where you find true love, there is no pain and where there is pain, true love didn't exist.

Now people started taking to me with a common line that, " you must have settled down now"...i wonder did I? Will I ever be able to???

Probably what they meant was, me accepting the truth of life and moving on...
like a very close cousin of mine called me today and says..how is your son, because I know you can never be over....

Iam glad, there are people who understand me...other than you.